Ann’s Story

In August of 2022, I got COVID for the first time. At the same time my husband and I heartbreakingly learned we were having our first miscarriage. Getting COVID while being pregnant made my body vulnerable. At the time, COVID just made me tired. I didn’t think much of it beyond that until it started a domino effect of permanent health issues. 

I was a fitness enthusiast-regularly running 10 milers and half marathons and  religiously attending Orange Theory Fitness classes at least 5 times a week. I am competitive and loved OTF’s compete against yourself concept to reach my splat points every class. I lived by my HR monitor. Until suddenly, it stopped making sense. I would be standing still and it would say my heart rate was in the 200s and running my a$$ off and it would say my heart rate was in the 60s. OTF had my goal HR set for 222 BPM. I told them it couldn’t be right, but they kept assuring me that it was determined by algorithms set by my heart, so it had to be. I was exhausted all the time. I had to defer all my upcoming races and I was gaining weight like crazy. I didn’t feel like myself. 

I went to the doctors and told them something was wrong. They wouldn’t listen. They brushed me off-told me I was young, my blood pressure was fine, HRMs are inaccurate and I should just lose some weight and that would help with my fatigue. 

This was not the first time I had experienced this with doctors. A few months before, after hearing more from other woman about their symptoms that led to an ADHD diagnosis, I knew I probably had. I instantly felt lighter and was excited to know that there was a solution and it was manageable and I didn’t have to feel the way I did anymore. But when I got to the doctor, they made me feel terrible. They said we probably all have ADHD and I am an adult now and have managed to get through life this far, so she wasn’t going to help me and walked out of the room. That was it. There was not even a conversation. I was crushed and embarrassed. I never wanted to feel like that again. So I tried to just forget about my ADHD and put it on the backburner.  I didn’t know how to advocate for myself because I didn’t realize I had to. I just assumed doctors are doctors and must be right and didn’t yet understand how real the issue of bias against women in healthcare was and how often there is under estimation of symptoms, misdiagnosis and gender stereotyping. 

But, back on track…there’s my ADHD coming out, lol. While I was having those symptoms, we also went on to have 7 more miscarriages. Something was wrong and we desperately wanted to start a family, so I knew I had to keep pushing. I went to every fertility specialist and doctor I could find. I was poked and prodded and had every test done under the sun. Doctors weren’t listening to me about my symptoms and they still couldn’t find anything wrong. 

I decided to look for answers outside of traditional western medicine and went to an acupuncturist. She was amazing and I finally felt heard. She listened to me and my pulse and very quickly realized something was off. I told her I thought so too, but the doctors wouldn’t listen. She told me to request an EKG and not leave until they gave me one. After a lot of arguing and telling the doctor I needed an EKG, they finally gave in, albeit annoyed, and quickly changed their tune when they realized I did indeed have a heart condition and immediately referred me to a cardiologist. I am lucky to still be here today. Had I not pushed, I probably would have continued to go on undiagnosed and wouldn’t be.

Contracting COVID had led to a life threatening heart condition that caused me to have a dangerous amount of extra beats which was weakening my heart and put me at risk for Sudden Cardiac Death. It was eye opening. I started advocating for myself and got a whole new team of doctors. I finally felt heard and thought I was starting to uncover some answers, but this was not the end of my struggles.

In August 2023, I had a Ventricular Tachycardia episode that landed me in the ER. I underwent emergency heart surgery, which was supposed to be a simple outpatient procedure, but things went wrong. There were complications during surgery and I ended up with an AV block. I was kept in the hospital for several days, hoping things would improve, but once I worsened to the point of not being able to keep my heart above 29 BPM, I ended up in emergency surgery to have a pacemaker implanted. It was a terrible, unexpected shock. The original issue was not fixed and now I am pacemaker dependent. I was put on heavy heart meds to suppress the unfixed PVCs and VT. But the meds didn’t just suppress my heart, they suppressed everything. I was so fatigued that I couldn’t function and had to go on medical leave. In January 2024, I had a third heart surgery that lessened the PVCs and VT enough that I was able to discontinue my  heart meds and return to work. 

Once my heart was stable, we returned to TTC. We were still met with months and months of obstacles. I tried IUIs, sooo many hormones and injections and even an egg retrieval. We tried for six months. I was ready to give up. I needed a break from doctors, surgeries and drugs. I told my husband I wanted to take a break, but of course, that was the month that miraculously, Mila decided she was ready to make her way into the world. She arrived March 16, 2025. The day before St. Patrick’s Day-11 days early with ELEVEN toes! Because of course, she just had to find a way to be a little extra like her mama. ;-p 11:11 My lucky baby. My beautiful, amazing, smart little miracle. 

I had hoped that Mila would be the beautiful END to a difficult chapter, but alas…that was not the case. When I was pregnant, I got COVID for the second time. My PVCs came back. The ablation did not work. Six weeks after Mila was born, I found out I was in heart failure. MY EF had dropped to 20% and I was not doing well. I gained 45 pounds of fluid after I gave birth. I had to stop breastfeeding because of all the heart meds I had to start taking (which were even more serious than the meds they had me on the first time around), I was told I shouldn’t have any more pregnancies, I did three months of Cardiac Rehab, had to go back on medical leave, I was hospitalized twice and underwent a third ablation. 

But it has not all been bad. This time, my surgery was at a much better hospital, performed by a much better surgeon. I was able to stop my heart meds so my hair and eye lashes have stopped falling out and I have enough energy to swing Mila around. I am working on getting healthier and stronger everyday.

There have been a lot of dark times, but there  have also been a lot of bright moments. Going through what I have, has meant having the opportunity to take a break from work. I’ve worked since I was 16 and have never had real time off like this, ever. Leave meant I was able to spend more time at home with Mila before she started daycare. It meant I got to work on this blog, truly relax, read, puzzle and spend more time with friends. Having great health and disability leave benefits has meant my family was able to travel more and experience things we otherwise wouldn’t have been able to. We’ve been to Paris, St. Thomas, Mexico, Florida, Philly, NYC and more. Mila is a world traveller and we’ve even been privileged enough to be able to fly my parents out to spend some island time with us as well. An experience I think we will all treasure forever. All the miscarriages meant that when we finally were able to have a baby, it was Mila. The most perfect little human I’ve ever met. I can’t imagine having a child that is anyone but her. She is everything. My little miracle baby who arrived exactly when she should have. It meant I bought the most impractical, cutest, little, oceanwave green convertible Mini Cooper and dyed my hair pink-because life is too short not to! It allowed me to realize how precious and fleeting life can be. So I am better at living in the moment, being grateful, empathetic to others, better at setting boundaries and valuing my time and peace. So while it has been difficult, there has been a lot of good, too. 

I know I still have a hard journey ahead.  I am still coming to terms with the possibility that I may not be able to have more children (although, I am not quite ready to give up on making a sibling for Mila yet). I am still learning to love my body again. I am trying to accept that I will have a forever pacemaker and that I will undergo many more heart surgeries over the course of my life. But I am learning to adapt. I used to say I was working to find my way back to me, but that is not true anymore. I am not the same me that I was before going through all of this. I am a better me and I am learning to grow as I go and get my sparkle back.